The real rules about how old and young you can date. According to this rule, society should accept a 50 year old man dating a 32 year old woman. A quick poll of my friends says otherwise. This made me wonder, does the creepiness rule actually reflect what is socially acceptable when it comes to age differences in dating? In other words, does the creepiness rule actually reflect what society finds…creepy?
As I reviewed the data, I realized that one rule was not enough. When it comes to dating older, women have the advantage. According to the survey, a 20 year-old John can date someone who is However, when Lauren is 30, she is supposed to date someone who is at least I not only created separate rules for men and women but also created different rules to determine how old and how young each gender can date.
The charts below compares the outputs of the revised rules with the predictions of the original creepiness rule. In almost all scenarios, the revised rules are more restrictive than what the creepiness rule would suggest. I think there are opportunities to build on this oh-so-important research.
What is the actual average age difference between couples? How would this research translate to same-sex relationships?
At the end of the day, this article was about how people think, not how people should think. Look for relationships that just make you happy. If you enjoyed this article, you might also like:. Who is the Wisest Philosopher. The 6 Types of Billboard Hits.
You can see all our articles at LateNightFroyo. Buunk, B. Age preferences for mates as related to gender, own age, and involvement level. Evolution and Human Behavior, 22 4— DiDonato, Theresa E. Sign in Get started. Oct 10, Stereotype much?
Perhaps you should step back and analyze why you feel so hateful about the opposite sex. Women my whole life have told me that I am very good looking.I Want Kids But My Husband Is Twice My Age - EXTREME LOVE
I get hit on by women of all ages all the time. Sorry ladies, men of my generation just have it better than ever.
The comments regarding older men not being desired by young women make no sense. Just tell them what they want to ear. Could you imagine making long sweet love to a young Jessica Alba? Do want a kid to continue your virtual legacy without the hassle of dealing with modern dangerous women that can take your kids with a swipe of her fingers? Why not wait for those artificial wombs?
Just find a good enough job to pay your bills, mind your diet, exercise and enjoy your porn and video games.
Your life will be a lot more fulfilling in the long-run if you can develop a satisfying long-term relationship. Some men in their forties have dated or are dating women in their twenties.
Most guys that young will just be in it for the sex. You may look a year or two younger than your actual age, but you don't look like a young 20 year old most likely. Bad news for you: 30 year old women who date 19 year olds want the So nope: its very rare that you will find a 30 year old woman who wants a .. old male who is happily in a ling term relationship with a 34 year old female. You know those girls who refuse to date anyone younger than they are, much Need To Know About Dating A Year-Old Man As A Something Girl For me, and many other women like me, it all begins with a number.
I know a man in his 50s who is currently dating a woman in her 20s. He dates women of all ages, not just those substantially younger than him. At least not for a long-term relationship. If you showed me 1, women, and had me judge them solely on their physical attractiveness, then sorted the women into groups by age, the group with the best average score would be somewhere in their 20s.
15 Guys Explain Why They Date Women Over 30
On an individual basis, some of the women in their 40s will be more attractive than some of the women in their 20s. But when looking at large averages, the women in their early 20s will be the most attractive group.
But the way Rudder presented his data was misleading. He displayed his data in a way that hid how weak the correlation was. Getting back to my earlier example of the man in his 50s dating a woman in her 20s.
Everyone dates people that they find sufficiently attractive. Only idiots prioritize attractiveness over everything else. I married an older woman because my relationship with her was the best relationship I ever had. Her attractiveness while a nice bonus was less important.
Her age was less important than that. Thanks Karl, that makes so much sense. Also I think women integrate more than compartmentalise so may have made other assumptions about the males they saw which broadened their age choice than if they could just choose based on the physical alone — which I wonder if it would be closer to the males choice if we are talking just visceral response. The media generally portrays men as really looks-fixated look at the way they advertise to men — bikini models to sell burgers, deodorant, internet domains, etc.
What percentage of men actually take personality and compatibility into account, and what percentage of men are distracted by the pleasant window-dressing and the ego boost of a big age gap? You would be right Pat. The truth as much as it hurts is that if a 20year old woman was sat next to a Man on a bus and their legs touched, he would have a huge erection and be willing to risk his wife, home and kids for some of that flesh.
He would be thinking only of the total ecstasy which awaits. Older women have so much to offer to everyone, far beyond sex. This world might even be a lot healthier if we would stop discounting them. I have known so many beautiful, interesting, and intellectual women in their fifties and sixties who I really admire and aspire to emulate.
Thank you to Karl and Eva. Young women DO actually get old one day, unless they die before sorry to be so blunt. There is no reason on earth why an older woman should not be attractive to a man in a reasonable age group close to her own -as long as she has what he is looking for and vice versa.
I have personally witnessed a truly beautiful woman at least physically being ignored by men of her own age group because of her rather unpleasant personality and an unhealthy obsession with her looks. Certainly grooming is important but having a fun evening with someone is even better and it works for both sexes. Hey, You sound like a sweetheart with a sensible head on his shoulders. I think dating a 20 sometthing while in your 50s is odd. I certainly did not want to hang out much less date someone older than 28 when I was in my 20s.
I love looking at young, strong men today. But the thing that gets me riled up is when these guys who get a date with these young girls think that they are something special and think they are young again. I wonder how many relationships with that much age difference really last. I should add that I have generally not pursued women in this age range aside from a single exception. In general, I find myself becoming friends with these women and they eventually pursue me.
Sometimes, a man waits too long to get married, and they find themselves alone, over 40, and yet still wanting a family. Or maybe I was just too dumb enough to recognize when to throw in the towel and do something else for a career. No pressure there, right? Personally, I know it would probably be a hardship, but want to believe that I would do my best to take care of my kid, no matter what state that they were born in.
Bob…beyond 45 a woman might have problems if no longer menstruating. A 60 year old woman will never be as physically or sexually attractive to a man as a 20 year old woman, all other things being equal. Get some class! Your comment made me laugh out loud! Yes, and you know what? Women are superficial too. I am with a much older man, but I have affairs with beautiful men 20 years younger than me. I am attractive, I am fitter than most 20 somethings at the gym.
I am smart, funny, and I have heard no complaints from the younger men I am with. I urge every older woman out there to give one a try. He was I am a 32 year old woman and even though I am married I, once in a while, fall a little bit in love with other men because I am human. Some of them are smart, some of them make me laugh, some have money, some are poor…some are very very plain.
I have never done anything about this offcourse and these crushes always fade away. I have never figured out what made me attracted to those men, but it just happens…its some kind of an invisible chemistry. I was suddenly very attracted to this man…. If someone would show me pictures of a men, all ages, I would probably also find the younger ones more attractive on avarege…and the men looking like my latest crush…well I probably wouldnt even notice them.
But in real life, I never fall for these young, beautiful men…. But then I suddenly want to jump on some 40 year old average joe.
Beauty is only a small part of the overall attraction. Is this really that surprising? A 40 year old man may be most attracted to the 20 year old but understands that for one reason or anther pursing a relationship with said 20 year old is unlikely to succeed. Not surprised and as a guy I often wonder if women are being honest.
Of course, to a man, a younger woman is more attractive. And we also know younger men are, physically, more attractive than older men. This reminds me of another study done that I believe I read here. Where men judged women online profiles on a bell curve as it should be. Not sure what that has to do with topic of rating physical attractiveness. But I did go back and read the article. Joe, you are right. It was an okcupid analysis. If physical attraction is high on mens list that seems logical to me.
Or are you saying men are bad for having different priorities? SparklingEmerald — I guess we just see things differently. I agree that I only pointed out one thing about an article that covered more even more than what you added btw. But the point and topic was about rating attractiveness. Which I thought I stuck to. Morris, have you seen this graph? No but I scanned the article. Not sure I agree with everything but in general it makes sense.
Men prioritize physical beauty and that obviously declines with age. Although I think that just means men are less likely to date older women or women their own age as they get older and if given the option to date younger. My own experience is both men and women find their own in their 30s. But the ones that I know that have been attractive in their 30s go on being attractive well into their 40, 50 on. Again, this is just my experience.
Back to that article. Women prioritize attributes that happen to increase with age. And it seems tied to stability and ability to provide. It would open up a much larger dating pool. Fair enough. But, I think we agree that there are more important things in life than sexual market value. Morris, you make a really good point. Pretty much everyone, not just the true beauties, look decent at He left his 33 year old wife for my friend then about Naturally, she grew older.
It happens to everyone. However, in his mind, he was still chasing that sweet young thing. Of course, he left her for another something year old after about 7 seven years together. He likes them young, thin and cute. Her lifestyle and genetics have already set the course.
You, your old male friends, ect, are far too hung up on looks and how women look. All of you sound lost and superficial. Morris, to most women security and protection are more important than physical attractiveness. If you are a woman looking for a LTR you have to pick the best long-term prospect, not the most attractive.
A man wearing an obviously expensive, discreet, well-made suit who blends in a midtown NYC crowd is times more attractive to me than a cute lifeguard with a six pack, or a musician in tight jeans.
Huge turn-off. High risk cheaters, high spenders prospects get an immediate pass. There is an extremely high cost of sex to women — pregnancy, STDs, emotional attachment, we have to be very deliberate when we pick ppl we sleep with. So we have to weigh these issues when selecting a potential mate. What year is it, ? Ben, no, listen…Younger men are more attractive than older men. So no, there is no way older men are more attractive then younger men.
No way on earth. Those traits you mentioned like confidence are alright. Looks and money are 2 different things. A complete turn off. Hmm how is dating someone for their money any less superficial than dating someone for their looks.
In pure physical terms, yes. If a woman finds herself attracted to certain abstract qualities confidence, success, whatever and has learned to associate that with older men, I find it entirely plausible that she might subjectively find a photograph of an older man more attractive even though she has no way of knowing that he actually has those abstract traits. Men who are fit and take care of themselves, tend to become more attractive to women as they get older.
Physically speaking, women in their sexual prime have always been the most attractive to men. These ages are from The same ages in regards to ones sexual prime are true of men as well. But most women, even of these age groups are not attracted to what today is more of a boy than a man.
Frequently unable to bring very much to the table other than his youth and lack of experience. Men may always be attracted to somethings, regardless of their age.
However, women are consistently attracted to their peers not old dudes! Evan has written about this before. A 48 year old man may lust for a 26 year old, but the 26 year old wants a man within a few years of her own age just as a 50 year old woman wants a man within a few years of her own age.
Men are wired one way, women are wired another. Sorry to burst your bubble, bro. They like 30 and up. Most men I know see them as children. I have to agree with Chloe — younger men are always objectively better looking than older men. The idea that women somehow prefer much older men is horse shit from MRA sites.
Most young women would take a dreamy, young 30 year old doctor over a 50 year old George Clooney. We want men who are young, strong, and fit enough to protect us and our kids, and cool enough to still be able to relate to our kids not some geezer.
State those facts. Not sure if this is true for all women but I suspect that it is for the majority. I have had discussions somewhere along the lines of this one with my husband many times. I have great difficulty in separating physical attractiveness from potential personality. I say potential because when looking at photos of strangers, I can only guess at their personalities. I realize that this makes no sense at all and I can definitely appreciate beauty for what it is which one is truly better looking vs.
Nevertheless, it takes more effort for me to only consider features and bodies and to ignore other cues, even in photos of strangers where the backgrounds and poses can be misleading, saying nothing about the personality. Like you, my husband is always amazed and wonders whether I am telling the truth and how there could possibly be any doubt about which one is more attractive. Over time, I have learned to tune out the other bits and fairly evaluate which one is truly better looking though that does not translate directly into attractiveness for me.
Men are attracted to young fertile women — this a rather obvious biological fact. A hot man would never be interested in a non-fertile woman! What tilts 20yos in his favor would be his stupidly spending money to keep her happy and buying her stuff.
And if he can afford it and is ok with being a sugar daddy, they both get what they want. Good for them. But that girl is going to cheat on him or dump him eventually. But then he can go on to spend his money on the next young thing. A really hot year-old man certainly can get women who are The average year-old man, on the other hand, cannot.
Older men, say 50, are never hot! A year-old man is not very sexually attractive to women. Relationships between middle-aged men and women should not and cannot be based on sex! It makes me sad to hear that middle-aged couples divorce because their sex life is not very active or exciting. Who really thinks we can retain a high degree of arousal for a spouse who is more than 50 years old after decades of marriage?
Why are modern people so stupidly unrealistic? MOST men in online dating do not rate as hot, never mind, really hot. Men rarely take advantage of these. Joe, I agree with you.
Have to burst his bubble. Even if the guy has abs of steel. If he has a ZZ Top face. Guy has close up of his abs. Pans out. Face only a mother could love. And maybe not even then. There are hot women and men in their 40s. Really hot, even. Not as many as in their 30s—and fewer still than in their 20s—but some. So just keep trading up for the younger model? And I guess women over 40 should just shrivel up and die?
This right here is why women get annoyed. The peak in attractiveness varies between men, but it generally falls somewhere between but mostly the late 20s. For the rest of us, personality, compatibility, and love are equally weighted with finances and looks. Not 20, but 25 and I have never been more attracted to anyone than a 45 y.
Exceptionally good looking and looked younger than his age. When I met and fell in love with my childhood sweetheart in my teens, I was considered among the hottest prettiest and smartest girls in my school and neighbourhood. And I fell madly in love with a short guy, only 2 inches taller than myself. I feel kinda bad for u that u think humans are so unevolved. People sometimes value and choose partners who may have a conventionally-less-desirable quality because we see that the person is simply wonderful overall.
Thank you Twinkle. I just turned 50 and have let some very good relationships go because of what my social up bringing told me was the right thing to do. Women are attracted to men in their peer group and as women age they find men their own age attractive. Most young women are not attracted to creepy, old dudes. When I was 25, my range was even more limited — I was willing to date guys up to Pat, your comments to this blog seem to have a lot of heat behind them.
When you were in your early 20s I can understan completely. So if you started dating a 29 year guy 3 months before his 30th birthday, what would you have done when he turned 30? Dump him? Everybody has a right to have their peronal age range to date somebody, to each there own. This is all based on YOUR opinion.
Your not speaking for the majority. Your just leaving one numerical decade of your life and going into another. The 20s are not some exclusive club you join for ten years and everything else is forbidding. Once your past 26 your in the shadow of your 30s.
As you said, everybody is entitled to their own age preferences. Most people do not date or marry with huge age gaps, anecdotally or statistically! That is a fact — check with US marriage statistics.
The majority of couples are within 4 years of each other. The way you were putting it men in their 30s are some disgustinghideous, sub-humans that should be killed.
I just turned 30 and dating a girl who is 26, we started dating three years ago when I was 27 and she was But I know a lot of women, some of whom are in my family that are in pretty large age gape relationships and a few even married. Do a survey on these people and the numbers will be different. Women in their 40s are still fertile silly. Stop believing all those myths and read some real science.
I know plenty of women who had babies in their 40s. Yes, it starts to mutate more and more as they age and can lead to having autistic babies. Sorry, not sorry to rain on your parade bye. Actually, it generally has a lot to do with the age a woman is when she has her first child. If she has one at 23, she is fertile into her 40s like my grandmother who had a surprise 8th kid at 42, long before there were any advancements in medicine. I met a boy, he was 2 years older than me, very short and kind of strange looking.
He was very confident and would not give up…he showed up everywhere I was and I got to know him. He made me laugh and suddenly I became very attracted to him.
We started dating and became a couple. I have never been in love like that again, and never been as attracted to anyone as I was to him.
Men and women have no interest in dating as old as the creepiness rule allows. Based on the creepiness rule, a year old John/Lauren can date Minimum Age of Female Partner = (2/3)*(Man's Age) + 2 [At least 18]. 34 year old guy dating 20 year old girl - "robbing the cradle?" . 22 (for me) seems the age at which a woman knows what she wants etc. A 20 year old with a 17 year old is OK, but with a 16 year old, it doesn't seem quite Is a year-old man dating a year-old woman weird?.
He was very short shorter than me and I am petitestrange looking and not sucessful at all…. He dumped me btw…that ugly little shit. The problem comes when the man mistakes that physical attraction to a woman much younger for love. It hurts older women who deserve love, too. In my opinion, some men have the tendency to gravitate to someone their maturity level versus their age. Your extremely right about men gravitating towards women that are their maturity level or people that are their maturity level.
A hard thing to accept for every middle-aged person, man or woman, is the loss of physical attractivity to members of the opposite sex. This may sound depressive or cynical; still, I believe it is true. I disagree. I think as long as both groups look to date within their own age groups, it can work. SOME men in their 60s want to date women in their 40s. With lots of vegetables, a clean diet, and things like yoga a middle aged person can remain sexually attractive from then and beyond.
Another hard thing for us all to accept is the waning of our OWN attractiveness. I genuinely feel bad for the men and women who feel no connection with potential mates in their own age group and cannot understand that no, they do not actually look as young as they feel.
How long can we be 20 years old? It is a hard realization that this is how the sexes operate and that women are valued mostly on how they look, for the fleeting of their youth. I remember feeling the same way you do, vividly. I am a 21 year old woman but I feel like men only used to look at me when I was Haha. I must be out of my prime already. Wow Jasmin how depressing is that! I pass as 17 and people keep thinking my bf 33 dating a teenager.
All of this really depresses me as well because men nowadays think women are disposable and a lot of these younger, trashy women out here lust after men. What happened to real love?? Longterm relationships, serious commitments that one day you two will get married and have a life together…?? Gone are the days, at least in NY I think, where you need an older man to secure yourself financially as a woman.
This article seems to be more about sexual fetishes than long term relationships. What is your passion? For the rest of us, who have a better sense of reality and seek more to our relationships than that, we will age happily.
I'm 20 and just started a relationship with a guy who's 32 - is it weird? . Because a 20 year old woman is almost always more physically attractive turned 17 and he was about to turn 30, so obviously now we're 21 and Here's why older is better in some men's eyes. about women of a certain age. Men in their 20s date women over 30 because: Peter Bailey, 34 (“not married”) $, in Term Life Coverage Starting at $/month.
It is blatantly clear that the vast majority discussing dating, love and relationships at EMK are expressing their desire to meet a man or a woman whom they are strongly physically attracted to.
My conclusion is that people over 40 and especially 50 should search for a good life-long friendship with a partner. That is realistic. It is not settling. It is simply the only practical solution to the problem of human solitude. Well, I might score her much younger little sister even higher for looks. Also, whatever one sister has the other wants. Lust is not everything. Ideally I might be most attracted to men who look like Brad Pitt, but I rarely want to date men that hot IRL…and at the end of the day, the human connection and who you have most in common with assuming the woman is attractive to you no matter her age wins out.
Karmic Equation 6. My wife is 60 soon to be The man in his 50s who is dating a woman in her 20s the couple that I mentioned earlier is not wealthy. He manages to support himself solely as a dance instructor without having a day job largely by living a very frugal lifestyle. I suspect that his girlfriend earns at least as much as he does.
Possibly more. This man epitomizes that concept. He gave up a more lucrative career to become a full-time dance instructor. Have you heard of an actor named Hugh Jackman? He was previously named the sexiest man alive by People magazine.
He is His wife is They have two children … both adopted. And quite frankly, how many women would accept such a man as a potential suitor unless they have something else they have passionately in common, like dancing, perhaps?
How many never-married men in their 40s consciously choose to be childless? Only one percent of married couples had a 20 year age difference in And that number dropped to 0.
Objective evidence say otherwise. Only Karl can say how his experiences with the two differed.
20 year old guy dating 34 year old woman
Karmic Equation, I was clearly supporting myself at a decent wage during an economic downturn. For the women I met in real life, my job was never an impediment. A lot fewer. If you look at the filters set by people in their 40s, 50s and 60s, most of the women want to date a man their age or younger.
Most of the men want to date someone younger. Using those filters, they mutually exclude each other. For younger or very attractive people, filtering may reduce the hundreds of potential dates to a smaller, more manageable number. For older or less desirable people, filtering usually takes them from a small number of people to none.
One of those groups gains efficiency by filtering, the other group loses efficiency. However, unlike most people, I eventually dated rather fearlessly. So when I realized one week that I could either date a woman 16 years older than me that week, or not date at all that week, I decided to make a pass at the older woman.
Either it would go nowhere, or I would have a less boring week. How hard is it for someone to look at their inbox and make the same decision? In my case I have no intention of getting married again, state this up front, and routinely date women years younger than myself. He sounds like a lousy boyfriend, and it sounds like a lousy relationship. If you break up with him, then continue to hang around with him as a friend, then you get to enjoy his outgoing, gregarious personality, while still having the opportunity to go out and find someone better.
Then you can enjoy the sex and his personality … without being tied to a commitment with a lousy boyfriend. I understand why your boyfriend treats you like crap.
His behavior makes sense. Yours completely baffles me. Guys now are days are a bunch of douchebags all they want is arm candy on their arm so everybody will look at them with envy. No matter how great and wilde wilder and better through the 16 years of marriage sex becamethere was nothing else meaningful enough for me to stay in that relationship.
It all comes down to a spiritual level that enables a unique fusion! Thanks for your comments Karl. They help me keep the faith. Points for honesty, I guess.
Oh Wendy. That guy was an ass. A good man will never ever say something like that to a woman. I hoped you dumped the eggs you were cooking on his head and kicked his ass out your door before he uttered another word. Karmic, trust me, he was gone like a fart in the wind after that.
And think a lot of things we would never do e. So what if a guy thinks it. As long as he has the self control to not say it. Us men can some real mean people. Before he made the comment he came across as a great guy, knew all the right things to say.
I guess he just wanted to get laid. And the overarching theme is, they have allowed one guy to destroy their attitude for all men. Now they are no longer able to trust men in general. Before I filed for a divorce, my ex-husband told me that he pities me because it is much harder to find a man for a 35 years old woman than for a 37 years old successful and good looking man.